Published on July 13, 2026 · Reading time 5 minutes · Written by Marta Coelho
You're at a meeting. A colleague gives a speech about you that touches you deeply. And you feel tears coming.
Immediately, you hold them back. You stiffen. You ask to go to the restroom. You do something—anything—to avoid crying in front of others.
Because crying is weak. It's a loss of control. It's "too" emotional.
This is what we've been taught.
But it's a lie.
Crying isn't weakness. It's an act of courage. And it's one of the most essential things your body can do for you.
When you cry, you release accumulated emotional buildup. Tears contain stress hormones that leave your system.
When you hold back tears, you also hold back the stress. And the emotion. And the emotional burden.
It's physiological. It's not drama. It's biology.
When you cry, you're also saying something profound: "This matters. You touch me. I'm vulnerable enough to feel this completely."
That's strength, actually. Not weakness.
In French-speaking Switzerland, we have a culture of self-control. Rationality. Efficiency.
"Emotions are personal. Keep them to yourself." "Tears aren't professional." "Strong people don't cry."
We teach our children, especially boys, to "stop crying." As if crying were a habit to break.
And many people grow up dissociated from emotions. They can talk about tragic situations with remarkable detachment. They're "coping"—which literally means freezing themselves emotionally.
It's short-term survival. But it's long-term prison.
Interestingly, there are three types of tears—and they're not all the same:
These are tears your eyes produce constantly to lubricate them. They don't have much to do with emotions.
Those that come when you cut an onion or get soap in your eyes. It's a physical reaction.
And here's the fascinating part: emotional tears have a DIFFERENT chemical composition. They contain stress hormones—like cortisol and adrenaline—that your body needs to expel.
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Crying emotionally is literally evacuating stress from your system.
Working with my clients in Rolle, I've noticed that those who allow themselves to cry are paradoxically stronger.
Why? Because when you hold back your tears, you also hold back your truth.
Crying says: "This affects me. I won't pretend it doesn't."
It's an affirmation. It's emotional integrity.
People who constantly hold back their tears must also hold back their truth. They must maintain a façade. It's exhausting.
But people who allow themselves to cry—there's clarity. Authenticity. Quiet strength that comes from not wasting energy maintaining a lie.
There are certain moments when crying is truly transformative:
When you feel deep sadness about something that happened to you—a loss, disappointment, injustice. Crying allows you to move through it instead of getting stuck in it.
When you're moved by someone else's pain or struggles. These tears connect you. They create compassion. They make you more human.
When something incredible happens, or when tension is finally released. These tears are liberating. They mark a transformation.
The greatest healing often comes when you give yourself permission to cry completely over a wound. No rationalization. No "at least." Just cry, fully and authentically.
If crying is difficult for you because you've held it back too long, you can create conditions for it to happen:
Really think about it. What requires more courage?
Holding back your emotions and maintaining a façade, or showing yourself completely, even if it means crying?
Now, I'm not saying you should cry constantly. There's a balance. But refusing your tears completely? That's a refusal of your humanity.
When you give yourself permission to cry, something changes profoundly.
You become capable of feeling completely. Not just the "good" emotions, but the full range of what it means to be human.
And this capacity to feel completely is where true strength lives.
It's where the capacity to love deeply lives. To learn deeply. To transform deeply.
Your tears aren't proof of your weakness. They're proof that you're brave enough to be fully human.
At MC-TERRA, I accompany people in Rolle and throughout French-speaking Switzerland to reintegrate their full emotional range, including the capacity to cry healthily. For many people, this means learning again that it's okay to be vulnerable and that vulnerability isn't weakness.
Whether through emotional coaching, family constellations, or other therapeutic tools, we work together to help you reclaim your right to feel and cry fully.
Have you held back your tears too long and are ready to let them flow? Schedule a session with me to explore how you can integrate this healthy vulnerability and find the release you deserve.
