Published on June 4, 2026 · Reading time 4 minutes · Written by Marta Coelho
Between the stimulus and the response, there is a space. In that space resides our freedom and our power to choose our response. In that response resides our growth and our freedom.
This quote from Viktor Frankl holds a truth I see unfolding every day with my clients in Rolle: most of us don't live in that space. We jump directly from stimulus to reaction, without awareness, without choice.
A reaction is instantaneous. It's commanded by your limbic system—the oldest and most automatic part of your brain.
Someone criticizes you. Boom. You get angry. Or you withdraw. Or you verbally counter-attack. All of this happens before you even have a chance to think.
Someone rejects you. Boom. You're hurt. You create stories about yourself. You prepare your escape.
When you react, you give away your power.
You act based on:
You don't see the actual situation. You see a situation filtered through your wounds and fears.
A response is different. A response comes from a place of consciousness. It incorporates:
When you respond, you're the creator of your experience, not a victim of it.
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In NLP, we use several tools to create this space. But the simplest—and often the most powerful—is breathing.
When you feel a reaction starting to trigger, stop. Even for a second. Take a slow, deep breath.
Inhale for 4 counts. Hold for 4 counts. Exhale for 6 counts.
Why 6? Because a long exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system—your "rest and digest" system. It shuts off the "fight or flight" mode.
With just one conscious breath, you've created the space. You've stepped out of automatism.
In that space, ask yourself a question:
"What's my intention here? What do I really want for this relationship/this situation?"
Not: "How could I win this argument?" or "How could I protect myself?"
But really: "What do I want to create?"
In French-speaking Switzerland, we tend toward logic and reason. But this question transcends logic. It goes straight to the heart of what matters to you.
You're at the dinner table with family. Your partner criticizes how you organized dinner.
Typical Reaction:
Conscious Response:
See the difference? In the second case, you're creating a conversation. You're inviting connection instead of creating a fight.
I often use family constellations with my clients in Vaud to work precisely on this point. When you replay a scene in a constellation, you get the chance to experience conscious response instead of the old reaction.
It's powerful because your nervous system actually integrates it—not just intellectually, but emotionally and physically.
The shift from reaction to response isn't a single change. It's a practice. Every day, you have dozens of small opportunities to access that space.
Each time you do, you strengthen your new neural pathways. You free yourself from your automatisms. You reclaim your power.
And that's where real transformation begins.
At MC-TERRA, I accompany people in Rolle and throughout French-speaking Switzerland to develop this consciousness and capacity to respond rather than react. Whether through NLP, emotional coaching, or family constellations, we work together to help you reclaim your power of choice.
Are you ready to create the space between your stimuli and your responses? Schedule a session with me to explore how you can transform your relationships and your life.
